The paraffin came up from the cellar in a can with a spout like a heron’s neck. Maren filled the reservoir, spilled a little, and wiped the brass with her sleeve before she remembered the rag in her pocket. There was a way of lighting it, a slow tilt of the match and a held breath, and she did it wrong twice. The third time the flame stood up blue at the root and went gold, and the lens took it and threw it out across the water in a long clean arm.
“That’s it,” Ida said. “That’s all it is.”
It was not all it was. Maren knew that already, the way you know the depth of a pool by the colour of it. But she let the sentence stand. Below them the sea drew back off the rocks and showed the black weed, the iron ring where the relief boat tied up, the stump of the old jetty, all the small bones of the island that the tide kept covered most of the year.
Tobias would be somewhere on the Hollin side by now, counting the light’s flashes the way the keepers’ children always did, and she found she wanted him to get the count right. Eleven seconds, dark; two, bright. Her father had taught her that before he taught her anything else, and she said it over to herself now while the lamp turned, until the words wore smooth and stopped being words at all.
She had meant to sleep. There was a cot in the corner, made up with a grey blanket that smelled of other people’s winters, and Ida had pointed at it twice. But the lamp wanted watching, or Maren wanted to watch it, and the two had become the same thing somewhere around the second hour. She learned the sounds: the click of the clockwork, the long sigh of the mantle, the small tick of the brass as the night cooled it.
At ten she climbed down to the gallery and stood in the weather. The mainland showed as a low smear of lights, and one of them, she told herself, was the harbour office, and one of them was the kitchen where her mother would be sitting up. She counted the flashes until she lost her place and began again, and it did not feel like a task any longer, or not only.